L is Listed as in a Relationship with Steve Martin

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Last week Steve Martin did something that threw me totally off guard. I didn’t think he was this type of guy. I would have appreciated him noting this on his Tinder profile. He called me and the first words out of his mouth were “you’re either going to be really mad or you’re going to be really happy” which obviously  I thought meant he’d done something like bought me a donut. But no, I immediately noticed a flood of notifications appear on my oh-so-cracked iPhone. Steve Martin had gone and done it: He’d made it Facebook official.

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I’d mentioned in a previous post that we had had the “Define the Relationship” conversation pretty early on, so I don’t know why this left me so surprised. Maybe it’s just because in the past with other men there had always been a discussion around it. Usually led by me because in my late teens/early twenties it *mattered*. Can we all audibly groan at the thought of that being a thing that matters?

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I first posted a picture of Steve Martin and myself together, smiling like daft morons, 2 weeks into meeting him. It wasn’t calculated, and it wasn’t a pre approved conversation. I knew he wouldn’t mind because, weird, he wasn’t hiding me or us. It was our social media coming out party, and it felt nice. That’s why, while it surprised me that he’d gone so public, it wasn’t something that I minded. It was his version of shouting it from the rooftops (which yes, I know is adorable and ugh he’s such a good catch).

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A result of the title change was that a lot of friends had questions about the status of the blog so I thought I’d give an upfront post to fill y’all in. As this is my first relationship in a while I feel like there’s obviously something to write about – meeting his friends, breaking down my walls, the first fight we have, documenting how happy I am, etc. So even though it’s Facebook official and I’m no longer swiping left, I hope you’ll keep reading my reluctant confessions because I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m having a lot of fun with Steve Martin – and without giving away too much too soon, this might be the best relationship I’ve ever been in. Not that there’s a lot to compare it to but still…

Less Syllables, Less Problems?

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After dating for less than a week, Steve Martin looked at me and asked if I’d mind if he considered me his girlfriend. This was a few weeks ago, and we have yet to burst into flames which yes is surprising to everyone involved. Here’s the thing: This conversation is one that is terrifying to most new couples and one I’ve seen (and experienced of course) prolonged and avoided for months. The reason? I think it has something to do with being afraid of vulnerability and the weird pressure that comes along with “making it official.”

I said yes to Steve Martin’s request for 3 reasons:

  1. I’m crazy about him
  2. I had (and obviously still have) no intention of seeing other people
  3. “Boyfriend” is less syllables than “The guy I’m dating”

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The first few days after we had the conversation, I was a bit terrified and slightly (very) miffed. How could it have been this easy? What did I do right this time that I’d done wrong before? Did we have the dreaded “define the relationship” talk too soon (DTR for all you noobs out there)? Would he regret it? Would I regret it?

Here are the answers I’ve come up with so far.

It was this easy because it just was. He thinks my brain is sexy and values my opinion. Meanwhile holding his hand while he tries to explain why Mike Patton is the greatest is my new favorite thing. There’s almost zero anxiety, and no question as to where we stand and what we think about one another.

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I know I know, I shouldn’t measure relationships against previous relationships. But I do it, we all do it. I have quite obviously a long string of failed relationships – truth be told in the last nearly 7 years I haven’t had anything last longer than 6 weeks. So, in response to “what did I do right this time that I’d done wrong before” I don’t have any idea. I do know that Steve Martin is different than any man I’ve ever been with, so maybe that’s why this seems to be working out so well thus far. Working outside my type might be working for me?

As for timeline, yeah him asking me after a week was totally unexpected. Agreeing to be in a relationship wasn’t the hard part though, that was a no brainer. It was however difficult to tell those closest to me. I have a wonderful support system, but I was frankly nervous to tell them. Would theY write this off, or tell me I was rushing into something too soon, or would they get too excited and start planning our wedding? Honestly some of those things happened, but I was expecting them to. The further we get into this though, the more glad I get that we just let the conversation develop when it did. It wasn’t calculated and it wasn’t planned, and isn’t that the way things should develop? I didn’t plan to meet Steve Martin but we both swiped right and here we are – taking it one day at a time, together.

I can’t answer if he regrets it, but it doesn’t seem that way. As for if I’ll regret it, it doesn’t seem that way.

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And no, we’re not Facebook official ugh you people…

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